My weeks … the ones off balance.

These last few weeks were always going to be tough, as my work bestie, confidante, all round top person and job share partner for more than a decade left work on Friday. She’s been such a part of my daily life, we’ve gone through personal and professional highs and lows together and I’m not quite sure how I’ll cope without her come Monday. These last few weeks have been building up to the big goodbye and its been emotional, she’s such an amazing person loved by everybody. We were determined that we would walk out together for the last time on Friday afternoon, we always laughed we would drive out a la Thelma and Louise (obviously without the final act) but instead we walked together sobbing and hugging. The crazy thing is that whilst we won’t see each other daily, she is one of my closest friends and will always be in my life. My leaving gift to her was a print from the movie Thelma and Louise with the words ‘No matter what happens, I’m glad I came with you.’ I ended her leaving speech with this line. With a little creative thinking, we were able to hold a leaving celebration. We chose an outdoors event for Covid safety as we couldn’t risk have our whole team off! One of our local beauty attractions is holding an illuminated trail so we went there after school to do the trail and cake and hot drinks. It was beautiful and such a lovely way to spend time with our team.

Friday was quite simply the crescendo in what has been a crazy fortnight. Both my friend and I have decided to leave the company we work for, the values and ethos are not ones we can share or promote. However as the sole earner in our house, I need to stay in position until I have a new job. I did apply and have an interview for a new position this week but did not get it. It actually came as a relief, as I had misgivings at the interview, something didn’t quite sit right and I have learnt that your gut feeling is probably correct. It was quite a different role to what I am in at present and I think I need to work to my experience and strengths. I am an extremely prepared person and had spent all of last weekend preparing for the interview, pages of notes and research all neatly written and mock questions answered. I also needed to dress for an interview as I had not had one in 17.5 years. A smart outfit was more of a challenge than expected as there were no blazers in stock when I went shopping on Friday! Fortunately the Next next day delivery service came to my rescue and the outfit was sorted. I also needed a pair of court shoes as I didn’t think trainers or Converse pumps would suit the look. I had tried to buy some heels for Christmas but my foot was still swollen from the operation so I was a bit nervous about finding a suitable pair now. The manager in Clarks could not have been more helpful, bringing me so many pairs to try and we did find a pair that fitted. It is so nice to be wearing heels again. My foot has been so bad for around the past 5 years that heels were not an option, so it really is a novelty and one I intend to enjoy lots.

There has been so much going on this fortnight, parents evenings, medical appointments, ill time car break down etc.. that it has felt overwhelming and I know that I’m off kilter. I watched an episode of This Is Us last night and one of the characters talked about being off balance and that is me at present, emotionally I’m a bit all over the place whilst trying to portray the professional and parental front that everything is good. I know I’m wobbling but have simply tried to do the basics, eat healthily, keep up my running and get to bed on time which seems to have kept me on an even keel. Fortunately life has calmed for the moment and its time to look after myself.

This weekend its been lovely to have family times. We went to the local forestry commission, where the girls did the parkrun. It was a slightly different course to the one I did there in October and it was beautiful through the forest and around the lake, a one lapper! It might be my favourite parkrun course I’ve run, although the mild morning and bright sunshine helped too. We then hired bikes and cycled for the rest of the morning before a picnic. Life is all about simple pleasures.

Next week is about fresh starts and looking after myself and my little family. Sometimes you cannot avoid mad, crazy times, but its good when they finish and you can relax a little.

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