Its difficult to write on what has been a truly life affecting event. Life has been put on hold for the past few weeks as we are all dealing with the effect of an accident for Mr S.
This year, we were exceptionally well prepared for Christmas as Mr S was due to have a planned operation on December 12th. As he would be recovering for a few weeks after, all presents were bought and wrapped and we had done some lovely festive family treats in the weeks preceding, ready to hibernate for a cosy, quiet Christmas. I am so relieved we did this as after 13th December, time stopped and the only reason we had a Christmas was due to our forward planning and preparation.
Mr S operation went well on the Tuesday and he was discharged from the day surgery and came home to recover. He seemed really well and I went to work as normal the next day, simply doing a shorter day. When I came home, he had a shower, ate dinner and we were pottering around the kitchen when he suddenly fainted, quickly and suddenly without warning. He hit his head with such a force that one side of his face was bleeding badly and he was unconscious. Our son ran for help, whilst I called 999. In the best stroke of luck, our local lifeboat crew were receiving emergency medical training and we quickly had paramedics, first responders, the air ambulance crew and an A&E consultant, the latter three from the training a few minutes from our house. It quickly became clear that this was serious and as soon as he was stabilised. he was taken to a local hospital. By the time I arrived at the hospital, having organised for my son to be looked after by our neighbours and an overnight bag hastily packed, a CT scan had been carried out and I was told that they were liaising with the regional neuro unit for him to be transferred due to a bleed on the brain. This was the scariest night of my life, trying to keep him talking so he did not sleep which might have been fatal whilst many doctors and nurses worked on him. When he was transferred, it was with an ICU doctor in the ambulance and I was not allowed to accompany him. I was asked to wait for a call to be able to visit him as the neuro unit was under extreme pressure on that night. So in the first of many surreal moments, I came home for 6am, picked up my son and got him ready for school, did a few jobs all in a complete daze. My parents came over with my daughter and we simply waited until we could go over to Southampton. I did try to sleep as it had been 28 hours without sleep but that didn’t really happen.
My mum and I went over to Southampton in the afternoon and started what would become our daily routine for the next 10 days. I knew how poorly Mr S was and how his facial injuries and potential speech and memory problems might frighten the children, so felt it best to keep them safe at home. I quickly discovered that time is a strange measure in hospitals, I was allowed in 2 – 8pm daily and with travelling times, was out 12 – 10pm daily. My day started a routine, the morning with the children, tidy up, organise dinner and then leave to be with Mr S. Amazing friends rallied round to help support with the children, taking them out to give my parents a break. The gingerbread biscuits in the photo were a most welcome late night snack baked by the children with a friend. I started daily updates to keep everyone informed but for most of the time there was little news, we simply went from hour to hour. What had been an improvement on one day, could quickly be reversed the next day. Sometimes Mr S would talk, on other visits he slept for our time together. Breaks away from the bed were down to the café for a drink and snack. On two nights I was moved to tears in the hospital entrance as choirs sang Christmas carols, the music and emotion were so overwhelming. And the music continued with the most wonderful moment when a brass band played carols in the neuro unit. The tree in the photo is the one outside Southampton hospital, despite the very difficult circumstances, the staff attempted to create Christmas sparkles.
As I write now, Mr S has been discharged. I felt the discharge was premature and would have preferred him to get the treatment he needed in a rehab unit, but there were no beds available. Our nhs is amazing and the care we received outstanding, but it desperately needs investment. Its lovely to have Mr S home and to be able to sit with him, he remains resting in bed, but there is a lot of caring and many, many further scares so far. The specialist equipment he needed came after Christmas and he is very wobbly standing and walking, he needs someone supporting him at all times. I am living from day to day and not making any plans for the future. My parents still remain with us and for the foreseeable future to support me and the children.
Christmas was simply a time to appreciate family and cherish the day together which we had prayed and dreamed of only two weeks earlier. An incident such as the one we experienced showed the truly important things in life, love, care and family and friendships. One of my favourite quotes for Christmas resonates even more
“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
Seaside Sparkles 