My week … the one with the Bake Off shock (and I’m still not over it )

Things are slowly getting back to normal and I’m well enough now to walk to school and also to drive. It was a welcome return to taxi duties on Youth club night. I am back to wearing shoes, albeit wide fit trainers. Its also good to have my slippers back on, I’ve missed them over the past month, my little toes did get cold!

I was really proud of our son this week as we had his Annual Review and it was so lovely to hear of all his progress and his kind and funny character. He really is one of the most laid back and witty young people I know, nothing phases him and he is such a tonic to be around. We know this but when you hear it from others, it feels even better.

This week has been so tough professionally, one of the worst weeks of my 25 year career. I hoped that I would feel relief by the end of the week, but I’m so emotionally frazzled, I feel devastated, sad, excited and hopeful, all mixed together. It’s going to take some time to work through this, but no matter how difficult this week was ( and I’m sure there’ll be more difficult conversations next week) I do believe that you’ve got to stay true to your values and beliefs to live an authentic life, both personally and professionally.

In all the very serious adult world of work, I have needed light relief this week. I don’t know if its my state of mind, but even watching Strictly and the Great British Bake Off was emotional this week. Rose and Giovanni’s Couples Choice dance, where they stopped the music so the audience could share Rose’s experience of dancing without hearing the music, was so powerful and touching, I cried. Having seen the reaction on Twitter and Gogglebox, I wasn’t the only one, it was such a beautiful inclusive thing to watch. I’ve just watched Strictly tonight and their dance to Frozen was so funny and superb, Rose and Giovanni are my winners for this year’s series (but I do love AJ and Kai too). On Tuesday, my favourite, Jurgen was eliminated in the semi final of the Bake Off. I actually shouted a nooooooooooo at the tv when the result was announced, he’s been one of the best bakers all series and is one of life’s nice guys. I did watch Last Slice on Friday night and he was even more precious and genuine on the programme. The audience’s reaction to him was wonderful, I don’t think the eventual winner will get a warmer, more enthusiastic welcome. Now its on to the final and I’m team Giuseppe, we need a Jurgen and Giuseppe spin off series, two wonderful, warm and witty bakers. Bake off with its friendliness and niceness is the perfect programme for us all to cherish.

As well as cosy nights in watching tv, I’ve also read a book, Always in December which I thought was going to distract me with its Christmas sparkles. It started with the lovely festive feels but then there was such a sad ending. I didn’t see it coming at all, everything was so neatly lined up for the happy ever after. Honestly this week everything seems to designed to have me in tears, I’m not sure I have any tears left to cry.

As I write this I’m watching a programme on Paul McCartney. It led me to a memory and one that thanks to the internet I’ve been able to relive tonight. When I was a teenager, I loved (still do) The Beatles and when I was 16, saw that Paul McCartney was on a world tour. My dad got us tickets to go and see him in Glasgow, as we have family nearby. It was one of those special nights of your life, I remember just dancing and singing all night long, not quite believing that I was seeing Paul McCartney play live. The set list was great, a bit of a greatest hits list but the big finale which I’ve been able to find on You Tube was Mull of Kintyre, when a Scottish pipe band were brought onto the stage, I still remember the goose bumps. It was amazing to watch the clip, more than 30 years later and be taken back to that night in Glasgow. (Yep, tears again, I’m a wreck this week)

I have no idea what the next week will bring but there are some good entries in my diary, my sister in law is coming over tomorrow and Friday is an Inset day for my daughter so we’re off to Southampton for a Christmas shopping trip. Sometimes you simply need to focus and hold on to those nice things..

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