Category: Uncategorized

http://www.carrieanddavidgrant.co.uk/blog.aspx?id=2635

Last night I read this post by Carrie Grant and I cried a few tears. I’m sad to say that I can relate to this post, the fear and ignorance shown by some parents towards adopted children is simply heartbreaking. I cannot explain how awful it is to watch a child desperately want to be invited to tea or to a birthday party and to be ignored each time. Every year my children have a birthday party and invite friends, one of my children is always invited to parties and play dates, the other none and it hurts.  On Halloween many of the class tricked and treated together, it was a big deal and the talk of class. It was sad for my child not to be invited but even worse was that they came around to our house. I can’t believe parents would be so hurtful to a young child, however I’ve come to realise that they are sob focused on their own child not mine. I also to have remind myself it’s not just me there’s lots of internal rifts too! 

My children go to the same school, one class of parents are warm, friendly and so encouraging to all children, I couldn’t ask for my child to be in a kinder or more supportive class.  The other class of parents is very different. My child is bright and talented ( this is not a boastful claim ) and I’m beginning to think that in a class where competitive parenting rules this simply doesn’t fit into the poor adopted child stereotype they would feel comfortable with. There are some parents who appear to expect the worse in adopted children.  A few weeks ago my child was accused of stealing by a supply teacher (a parent of another child in the same class) Whilst nothing had been reported as being stolen, the teacher suggested that my child had acted suspiciously by another’s desk and had their bag searched. I raised this with the Head but the damage has been done, other parents watched in the playground as my child had to open their bag and prove they hadn’t any stolen items in it. My pertinent question to the Head was would the teacher have done that to any other child in the class? 

I was quite emotional today after Carrie’s post and the comments posted back and spoke about it to a good and wise friend. She reassured me and I’m hoping that secondary school will allow my child to find their ‘tribe’ and experience true friendships not based on parental vetting. 

I agree with Carrie that it does take a village to raise a child and though there are a small minority of parents who are ignorant and unkind, we do have the support of many wonderful people, friends, neighbours and fellow parents to help support our children. I am proud to have these people in our lives and know that our children’s lives will be enriched by their kindness. 

Today is the end of my two week half term. This is something my school has had long before I started in 2005 but this year it seems that more schools are adopting the idea too. Our school has always had the additional week to reduce the long summer holiday. We are a specialist special needs school and for our students and families the long summer holiday can be challenging with changes in routine, respite care etc.. and our shorter holiday does help.

I have always liked this two week holiday, before children we often went on sunny holidays or visited family and then I would have time to potter and relax. Now the first week of the holiday is spent en famille and the second week gives me some very rare me time as the children return to school. It is a week I really look forward to, I start my Christmas planning, do any little jobs I’ve been meaning to do in the house, meet friends, do a few trail runs if the weather allows and enjoy simple pleasures, a trip to the cinema, reading etc.. It is lovely to have that me time and although the week in summer takes a little organising, it’s workable in our family, particularly with my part time hours.

However, I was thinking what if my children had a two week holiday in October and less in the summer? Whilst it works for me, I’m not too sure it would work for the children. The summer holiday should be sunny and warm and it is easy and cheap to keep the children amused on the beach or in the park. There are long days and evenings, lots of time to be outside, to play, to swim, to relax. At the end of October, there are fewer opportunities for outdoor activities, days are shorter and it would be costly to fill a two week holiday with trips to the cinema, indoor skate park, swimming and other sports. More school in July would mean hot and stuffy classrooms, lots of distractions and very tired children. Our school’s curriculum in the summer is specifically designed for our students, with lots of outdoor activities, enrichment and project work to compensate for the later finish, generally our formal learning finishes at the start of July.

Whilst I like my two week holiday, I would prefer that my children have a week half term and continue to have the traditional long summer holiday with time for summer adventures at the beach and to enjoy the warmer weather outside. It’s an interesting debate on how to distribute the thirteen weeks school holidays to best suit pupils, staff and families.

 

I have two celebrity crushes which have lasted for many years, one I think is quite mainstream in the gorgeous Jon Bon Jovi but my admiration of the comedian Alan Davies always raises a smile.  There is a connection between the two,  I loved their long hair in their younger years ( I had a passing crush on the comedian Rob Newman for the same reason)  Both men have a little twinkle in their eye too.

I have been fortunate enough to see Bon Jovi live at Wembley in 1995 (best concert ever) and Jonnie, as I like to call him, was amazing. Around this time I went to Madame Tussaud and had a photo taken with Jonnie’s wax work, I’m gutted I lost it in a house move.

My crush on Alan Davies has been more through the medium of tv, I watch him and imagine that he would be a funny and relaxed companion.  I don’t need the magic of Jonathon Creek but the wit and conversation of qi.

I’m joining in with day 21 of #blogtober17

It’s been a wonderful final week of the holidays, the sun has (finally) shone brightly and our little seaside town has been packed with happy day trippers and holiday makers, especially on bank holiday weekend. Our town needs these busy weekends to thrive and survive so we’re grateful for sunny days! We have been on the beach most days this week, determined to eek out every bit of summer fun that we can. We’ve also had family down this week and having lunch al fresco in a delightful sea front cafe was just gorgeous. Somehow in between the beach visits, we’ve also managed to squeeze in school shoe shopping and school haircuts, so we’re ready to go back to school next week.

I’m in the back to work groove this week and have been doing some professional reading. To counter this serious reading I’ve really appreciated ‘Spectacles’ by Sue Perkins, we’re a similar age so lots of the cultural references and experiences are similar to my own, whilst the family tales are ones we can all relate to. The memoir is written in an amusing style that keeps you reading and smiling.

I also read a lovely article about women in their 40s and 50s and how we’re now described as perennials. Once you’ve looked past the initial glossy photos of unbelievably glamorous, stylish and young looking women in their 40s it’s an excellent and inspiring read.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/women-40-50-new-ageless-generation/amp/

I’ve watched our living room and hallways being transformed this week as we are having them redecorated. We had hoped to move but in a quiet housing market, we’ve decided to improve our house, not for a future sale but for us. Whilst we’re in the middle of the project, there’s no new pictures yet but I’m excited with the progress. The decorators are the neatest I’ve ever known, I’m sure my house is tidier than when they began!

I’ve made lots of sand castles this week and helped the children create their seaside cafe with sand food sculptures. It’s amazing how imaginative the children can be with their games on the beach.

Shorts, swimming costumes, sunglasses and sun tan lotion yippee! It’s going to be a shock returning to work clothes next week. However on my lightning trip to big town (the journey was longer than our shopping trip) I did pick up this new dress for work from Fat Face to be styled with leggings and pumps, it’ll make me feel confident on our first day back. It’s also one of those dresses which looks a lot better on than in the photo below and best of all it has pockets, essential for pens, keys etc.. and all the other accessories a teacher carries around.

Town has been buzzing this week and there really has been that happy hum all around, the giggles on the beach, the sound of Punch and Judy, the call of the sea gulls, squeals as the first toes feel the water etc.. It’s such a lovely sound, happy people.

So that’s it now, the summer holidays are over. Whilst I like the fresh start and excitement of a new school year, I’ll miss the relaxed, family days we’ve shared this holiday. At this time of year, more than at any other, I feel the passing of time but try to see it positively and to look forward to new adventures.

Many thanks to Morgana for this lovely linkie and all those who write and inspire.

 

This week sees the 20^th anniversary of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. It seems strange to write a post on the Royal family, I have respect for their role, but am not an ardent royalist, however Diana was different and was part of my growing up. It was the day after my 8^th birthday when Diana married Prince Charles and I remember the excitement of the extra bank holiday, getting up early for the build up to the day, the anticipation of her dress, the ceremony, a tad boring for an 8 year old and then the street parties which followed in the afternoon. I was at the age of believing in a fairy tale princess and this continued when I got to see Diana at a polo match in Windsor Great park. As Girl Guides we were camping in the park and were allowed to attend the game. Charles was playing but memories of him are blurred, however I remember Diana so clearly, wearing a stunning black and white dress and smiling. She was all we had hoped for.

As the years progressed, the fairy tale princess became an anachronism, however Diana changed and away from the soap opera of her personal life exaggerated in tabloids, I respected the work she did with ‘unfashionable’ charities, landmines, AIDs, homeless charities. I also loved her style. When Diana died when I was 24, she was a woman whose values, grace and work I admired.

Diana’s death is the ‘where were you ..’ moment of my generation. I was in a large London hotel celebrating my cousin’s wedding. As we went to bed, following the reception, in the early hours of the morning we learnt that there had been a serious accident in Paris and when we awoke her death was confirmed. The morning at breakfast was one of the most surreal times, a huge, busy hotel stunned into silence, it felt like everyone was too shocked to talk. The radio was sombre with classical music playing, the tv was the news and reactions, it was the strangest and saddest day to be followed by a similar week. By chance, we were due to be away visiting family on the day of Diana’s funeral. My uncle had been in the army and Diana had been his regiment’s royal. We watched the funeral in their home with photos, signed notes and cards from Diana to my uncle on display, I remember everything about that period feeling so unreal. The funeral was highly emotional, her sons behind the coffin, Candle in the Wind being sung by Elton John and all the flowers being thrown at the car. Once it ended, like many in the country we all headed to the nearest pub for a much needed drink.

Following the funeral a friend asked me to visit London with her to see the flowers at the palaces and although I hadn’t really thought about doing it, it is something that I am so pleased I did. It was an amazing sight, the waves of flowers are unforgettable, beautiful in colour, smell and volume. We also signed the book of condolence and pottered along Kensington High Street for shopping and an Italian lunch, it was a memorable day.

As the anniversary of her death occurs, I still like Diana, yes she was flawed but she in her own way was a role model, she embraced her charity work and used her position to help others, she held strong family values and was determining what the life of a modern woman looked like. She took my generation from believing in fairy tale princesses to something a little more realistic.

Postscript

Following the media coverage of the anniversary I’m a little perplexed that future generations will believe we were all emotional wrecks crying and mourning Diana’s death. It was a surreal time, questions were raised about the role of paparazzi and the need for privacy and respect and we all felt sad for her family. However we weren’t all crying but just trying to make sense of a terrible accident.

I’m now at the stage of the summer holidays when I’m trying to work out what day of the week it is, Mr S is at home too so there’s no work days at present and each day simply merges into another. Living in a holiday resort its holidays all round, so no real definer of time here either. In the period since my last #litteloves post we’ve been on our summer holiday to Cornwall. Normally we go abroad but this year we wanted to show the children how beautiful our country is and share some of the special places. We had a caravan on the beach near St Ives and explored Cornwall, the Eden project was the highlight but we all enjoyed the beaches and surf.

Normally I read lots on holiday, especially around the swimming pool but this year I found myself in the pool as it was a bit nippy to be sat around it or watching the children in the sea from the beach, thus reducing reading opportunities. Therefore I’ve only been reading magazines, guidebooks or puzzle books, all fun and light but I’m looking forward to starting a book tonight and working my way through my to read list.

On holiday I watched the children carefully, the sea was more tidal than we’re used to and I always had them in my sight if Mr S or I weren’t in the sea with them. Our two are beach dudes and had their body boards in the sea and tried out aqua gliders and jets at the caravan park. On one afternoon, Lifeboat day in St Ives, we watched a mock rescue display by the lifeboat and coastguard in the sea, highly impressive and I have so much respect to those who volunteer to help others.

We had a wet and miserable morning on holiday and went to the cinema to see ‘Diary of a Wimpy Kid – The Long Haul’ I really liked this film despite some poor reviews, it’s exactly what you expect a funny, family film with lots of slapstick. I did think the dynamics of the family were so well observed and I could identify so much with mum, her part was superb.

 

In our little caravan, CBBC was a popular choice for viewing by the children. Little Miss and I were inspired by Tilly Ramsey’s cookery programme Matilda and the Ramsey bunch. This is a great programme, I loved it, Tilly is bright, funny and passionate about food and such a positive role model, whilst her family are just lovely. Since watching the programme, Little Miss has been helping me to make dinner each night, preparing vegetables, cooking some ingredients etc.. She’s not only been helping but learning too and has listened carefully to instructions and explanations. I let Little Miss make her first cake independently this week, simply being present in the kitchen ready to answer any questions and take the cake out of the oven. She made a lime and coconut loaf and it was amazing. I’m looking forward to tasting more of her cakes and bakes.

The weather was mixed on holiday, some stunning days but some damp and cooler days too. My most worn outfit was my swimming costume, I was in the water everyday either in the pool or sea and then spent most of my time in shorts and a hoodie or t-shirt depending on the temperature. I love the hoodie and shorts combie, it’s cosy and warm with a hint of summer.

I was surprised to hear that the film, Dirty Dancing was released 30 years ago this week, how can it be that old?  It was the coming of age film for me and my friends and is still one of my favourite films of all time. I downloaded the soundtrack onto Spotify this week and enjoyed listening to it on my runs. I also had a bit of a tidy up this week and found my original CD from 30 years ago, in the sleeve there are all the lyrics and I remember singing along as a teenager. I love the Dirty Dancing soundtrack and it still is as good as I remember.

We have few plans for the bank holiday weekend, if its sunny it’ll be the beach or a walk or if its mixed we’ve a few house jobs on a list to be done.  Next week is school shoe shopping and the final bits of uniform, I’m already psyching myself up!  We will then finish the last holiday week with a visit from family, before its back to school.  The summer holiday seems to have gone so quickly and there are signs of autumn creeping through our days now.  I’m determined to enjoy these last days of summer.

Many thanks to Morgana and all her lovely contributors to #littleloves, I’ve missed the posts and inspirations.

There really is something quite bizarre about me writing a post about cars and driving.  I am not a petrol head and in fact I suffer badly with travel sickness so spending time in a car is something I try to avoid.  My travel sickness is better when I drive but as a passenger I can be poorly on the shortest of journeys.  My work, the shops and children’s school and clubs are all within a mile radius from home so my weekly mileage is very low, only bumped up by the occasional visit to big town (50 miles round journey) or a trip to my parents.  When I part exchanged my last car, I had done less than 15000 miles in 7 years. Whilst I am a competent driver now, it did take me 4 attempts to pass my test at 18; I passed it the day before I went to uni and then didn’t drive for another 4 years and had to do refresher lessons!  As you can see I’m not that well qualified to write a post on cars, however I felt that my cars actually tell a little of my life story so thought I’d write a post about my life in cars.

My first car was a second hand orange Metro.  It was BT orange as it was an old fleet car and as I started my first job it was what I could afford, I think it cost me about £1500 which was expensive at the time.  The prices of cars have definitely reduced over the years.  The Metro was the car of choice with me and my friends yet it seems so basic now, freezing in winter, boiling in summer, dodgy car radio and it even had a choke button.  We all knew how to do the simple tasks in our cars and could check tyres, water levels, change oil etc..  Sadly the Metro wasn’t the most reliable of cars, it blew a tyre on the M4 once and on a winter’s night broke down on the Second Severn Crossing, needless to say I’ve always been a member of roadside assistance.  Eventually it was stolen, dumped and written off and having been working for a couple of years I upgraded to a Citroen Saxo.

I loved my Citroen Saxo, it was my fun car, I had it between the ages of 25 and 31 and would drive in it to meet friends, have girlie weekends away and simply bop around town.  It was so reliable, I had it for 6 years and my Dad then had it for another 6 until he exchanged it in the government scrappage scheme.  In the pictures above its on the driveway of our first house, it was a great little car.

I only changed my Saxo car because Mr S bought me a KA for our first wedding anniversary.  This felt like such luxury, central locking, electric windows and it was so fun to drive.  In the years I had my KA I started doing some serious mileage as we had sold up in Bristol and moved to the seaside whilst I was still working in Bristol 4 days a week.  My friends were even more spread about the country now, so it was visits to Berkshire, Devon, Cardiff in school holidays.  It was about this time that Mr S persuaded me to drive a larger, safer car for all my miles and my KA was part exchanged for a new car for him whilst I kept his old car ( he always has v nice cars for work) I can’t even remember what it was but I hated it and soon had gone back to a smaller car.

My next car was a 3 door C1 and perfect for my life, small enough to zip around town and to park easily, comfortable with some great features and just lovely.  The thing we hadn’t considered was family life and when the children arrived it was impractical, it didn’t fit a pushchair in the boot which was squeezed onto the back floor and then one day leaning in to do the car seats I hurt my back and by the weekend it had been part exchanged for a C3.

My C3 was the practical, 2nd family car and to be honest I never had the buzz or excitement from driving it, I think that may have been the grey colour, it was functional and reliable but a bit boring.  Its also very difficult to keep a family car clean and tidy and its normally my car which is used for beach trips, muddy walks etc.. After 7 years, we felt it was coming near to its end and rather than investing money into it, Mr S offered to but me a new car for my birthday.

Upon this offer, I asked for a C1 which surprised Mr S.  However I loved my original C1 and now the children are older without the need for pushchairs etc..it was the practical option again, although we did ensure its the 5 door model.  As well as its features, I’m also impressed with its economy, it has no car tax and my insurance has reduced considerably.  My C1 is not our family car, Mr S has a large family car for family outings, its a small second car for local trips and it fits the bill perfectly.  Whilst its unlikely to be this car, I also think that in 8 years when Little Miss learns to drive it would be the perfect model for her to learn in.

In the years to come, I can’t imagine driving a car much different to what I have now.  I’m sure the features will develop but for speed and practicality, I’m really happy with what I have.  I’m not one for sporty and flashy cars and I suppose the one feature which will attract me is environmental considerations.