Month: October 2017

#Blogtober17 : Day 2 : Babies

Published on by seasidesparkles1 Comment

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I am a mum, I’ve been pregnant and I now have two amazing children but I’ve never had the joy of cuddling my new little baby as he or she gurgled and smiled in my arms. All I ever wanted in life was to be a mum, Mr S and I married and the plan was babies. We found out life doesn’t quite work out how you planned and after many years of fertility treatment, IUI, IVF and ICSI and a pregnancy which by the cruellest twist ended very sadly, we adopted two special children when they were toddlers.

As I’ve never been a mum to babies, I thought hard how to write about today’s prompt. #Blogtober17 day 2 is an open letter to mums-to-be on how to be pregnant around friends suffering from infertility. I’ve had friends who were amazing and so kind and these friendships are stronger than ever and there were some friendships which sadly didn’t last, I miss these friends but the friendship could never recover from the hurt.

Dear friend and mum-to-be

You’re pregnant, congratulations, this is fabulous news. You are my friend and therefore a truly wonderful person and I can’t wait to meet your baby. Please share the news with me when you do with others and don’t worry about upsetting me. I promise you it’s much worse when I hear the news from a ‘friend’ and if we don’t live in the same town please don’t try to keep the pregnancy secret and surprise me with the news the day you have the baby (this happened, on the worst day of my life and the friendship did not survive)

I am genuinely delighted that you are pregnant, I want people to get pregnant, it gives me hope and I promise to keep my tears hidden from you. I want to talk babies with you, share in your pregnancy, make sure you’re ok. You can text me to pick up a prescription when you’re too poorly, I will collect an older child to give you a rest, this is what friends do! I still love you, your pregnancy is a celebration.

When you have the baby, please don’t forget me. I know your time is totally focused with your new baby, I don’t want nights out, just a text message or invitation to pop around for a coffee and its fine to talk baby with me. I’m a great friend to keep, I’m not on maternity leave pay, so can treat us to posh biscuits or a lovely baby outfit from a shop I know you love. I won’t be around all the time, I know you need time to become a mum and you need new mum friends too, I’m a different friend now and this is ok with me.

I am fine to hold a baby, I won’t drop the baby and I promise I won’t sob hysterically, I’ll play and coo and assure you that he/she is just perfect. For me, it’s the practice I need and isn’t there an old wives tale that being around babies helps you conceive?

All is ask of you is to share your news with me, be kind and gentle and to be the amazing friend you always have been. I will be excited for you and can’t wait to meet your new little baby.

Love

Your friend x

Blogtober17

#Blogtober17 All about me

Published on by seasidesparkles2 Comments

So here goes, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and trying a little blog project. I’ve chosen to try #Blogtober17 to be more disciplined with my writing and with the prompts I may write about something that I may not normally write about. So day 1, and phew its still October 1st (just) and the topic is about me. Firstly I have to admit that I’m questioning who I am at present. I think like so many mums we get caught up in the lives of our family and our other commitments and sometimes don’t have the time and energy to be ourselves.

So my basics, I am 44 years old (how did that happen?) and live with my husband of 14 years (together for 19) and 2 children in a small seaside town. My blog is anonymous as my children are adopted and we need to protect our identity, especially in a world dominated by social media where it can be so easy to find people online. Our children are a nine year old daughter whose life revolves around dancing, music and fashion, and an eight year old son who lives for sport and outdoor adventures.  They came to live with us seven years ago and are all our dreams come true. I work part time, I have a very fancy title which I think is a bit grand for my real role, but I work as a senior leader in a special needs school. I love my job but the work life balance is always a challenge. Like all mums, I spend most of my free time being mum, helping with homework, taking children to clubs and activities, cooking, cleaning and organising everyone, I always have a list!

My special time each week is spent running and I cherish the solitude of these runs.  At home, I like to read, write, do little projects and be creative in the home. I’m a real homebody these days and this is where I feel most comfortable.

I’m trying to quickly write this and publish before bed, perhaps I’ll come back with a Smash Hits quick fire quiz in the next few days, this makes me sound all so serious and I hope that there is a spirit, warmth and fun in me!

Late edit : I remembered I answered Vogue’s 73 questions on my blog, here’s a link to more about me

https://seasidesparkles.net/2016/02/24/vogues-73-questions/

Blogtober17

Yes Please, Sully and a Bike Ride #littleloves

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This is a two week special, as last week I was busy with a little project. We’ve had some lovely bright autumnal days in the last fortnight so lots of opportunities to be out and about.

READ

I think it was on one a Little Loves post that I read a recommendation of Amy Poeller’s book Yes Please and downloaded into my Kindle. I really enjoyed the read, I admit that I was not particularly familiar with her work but this book is so much more about a career in comedy, its about following your passion and it offers wise advice for women at all stages of your life and other chapters on random subjects which are engaging, thoughtful and funny.

I am now enjoying Marian Keye’s The Break. I’ve been a huge fan since Watermelon and eagerly wait for her new novels, she never disappoints. After seeing a campaign to celebrate female authors with The Jane Austen £10 note, I used my first to buy this book, a great idea and another example of how fun Twittter is.

WATCHED

I am actually watching more television than normal at present, Strictly and Cold Feet are my absolute faves, but there are some good dramas on tv too. In this period I have watched Sully, starring Tom Hanks, whom I just love. Its a film about the pilot of the flight which landed successfully on the Hudson. I read the book Inside the Black Box, in which this episode was a case study so knew that Sully was quite severely questioned about his role. It is a great film and thoroughly recommended.

MADE

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I’ve been busy with my upcycling project and am very proud of my new bureau. It’s great to have a little project and enjoy doing it.

In a burst of domesticity I made biscuits for the children coming in after school, I then froze half the mixture for freshly baked cookies on another night too. I still can’t get over that I did this!

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WORE

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I wore a cycling helmet for the first time in more than decade! Mr S and I used to cycle quite regularly when we lived in Bristol, where lots of the old local train lines were converted to cycle paths. However where we live now is not very bike friendly, with lots of steep hills and the country lanes and roads can be dangerous. So instead of scaring ourselves on roads, we went to our local forestry commission country park and hired bikes so we could ride as a family. We take the children cycling often in the park however now they are confident riders we decided it was our turn too! It was a perfect morning, the weather was warm and bright and we had so much fun riding through the woods, it reminded us that it really is the simple things which give so much pleasure. I was incredibly relieved that I could still ride after all these years and I really loved every second of our ride.

I’ve been shopping in big town today, this is a rare occurrence for me. It was good to potter around, all my favourite shops are there and there are department stores too! I got clothes for myself and the children, I discovered Zara Girls and Little Miss is made up with her new sequin colour changing jumper from the shop. I bought myself a new blouse and cardi from Fat Face and wore it tonight to the secondary school open evening with my skinny jeans. I’m a bit in denial that I have to start thinking about this but at least we have another year to make a decision as Little Miss is still in Year 5.

Photos from Fat Face website, the print is gorgeous!

HEARD

After a dance on Strictly this week, I found myself listening again to Harry Connick Junior’s Album, A Recipe for Love. I had this album as a teenager and I still love the big band style and songs.

And finally

It’s a relaxed time at present, I’ve been able to catch up with friends and potter around. I fancy a little project so will be trying #blogtober from Sunday, to me it’s a scary challenge writing daily on a variety of topics but October is a quiet month with only 12 working days so its the time to step out of my comfort zone. With all the writing, I may need to take a pause from #littleloves but will still be reading the excellent posts.

Happy week everyone and thanks to Morgana for hosting #Littleloves