Last night, I was curled up on the sofa reading the latest edition of Woman and Home magazine. The front page had enticed me to buy it, Have a Balanced Life, de stress, feel calmer, the headline promised and yet after reading what has always been a nice, inoffensive read I was angry and disappointed. The reason for my fury was the introduction of an interview with Lisa Faulkner. Now Lisa Faulkner always comes across as lovely person and is not the object of my frustration, rather the writers description of her ” Lisa Faulkner 44 …..has an adopted daughter ” Its the sort of comment that makes you feel sick in the pit of your stomach. Why is her daughter being introduced as an adopted daughter, surely Lisa Faulkner should have the respect of the writer to be seen as the mother of a daughter. I have never introduced my children as my adopted daughter and my adopted son, they are my son and daughter, our children, no labels. What does the ‘adopted’ signify, abandoned, abused, neglected, traumatised, what parent would want their child to have that label? Why should a child be described with such negative associations, they are innocent children, yet are being defined by their early lives and or the history of their birth families.
In our family adoption is not a secret, we discuss it freely and it falls naturally into conversations. Our children know of their early life, in the most appropriate way for their ages and know that we will always love and support them throughout everyday of our lives, our little family saying is love you forever and ever and ever. I want my children to grow up bathed in unconditional love, support and a sense of belonging, a secure attachment which makes them confident and happy as adults. Sadly it appears that our national media is quick to judge and label. Fortunately for our family and friends they are not an adopted son and daughter, an adopted granddaughter and grandson, an adopted niece and nephew,an adopted cousin or an adopted friend they are simply two much loved children.