Category: Family

Rushing Through Life

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I came across this quote on my guilty pleasure of Pinterest last week.  It made me pause and reflect on my own life, putting into words how I’ve been feeling recently.  I am so lucky to have a loving husband, two amazing children, a part time job which I love and materially all I need.  Yet I feel I have been missing my passion, vitality and spirit.  I looked in the mirror last week to see a grey face staring back, lines appearing and looking tired.  I am not vain but it was a shock to see myself ageing.  I also had a lot of diary entries last week and felt that at times  I was simply there in body rather than spirit.  Last week was a week I look forward to annually as by a quirk of my working life I have 4 days off work whilst the children are at school.  However my days ended full of appointments and rather than getting the opportunity to do some creative things, purchase some festive material for Christmas stockings and buntings, I was meeting education psychologists to ensure one of our littlies gets all the support they need in school, fighting the education authority’s refusal to do a special needs assessment, supporting a prospective adopter by meeting and offering advice, objecting to another planning application on a neighbour’s house which would invade our privacy etc ..  The result of all these appointments was that  I was so drained I felt ill and just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep.  Whilst I did not work, I felt I was physically and mentally recovering from such a demanding period at school.    My work life balance is not in equilibrium at present and I am not the person I want to be.  I want to be the caring and supportive wife, loving and fun Mum, home maker, fit and healthy, creative and vibrant, sparkling woman I know is the real me.  My challenge is to rediscover her so everyone benefits.

 

@Bristol – Science at its Best

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This weekend we spent the weekend with our parents.  Firstly there is the diplomacy to manage to ensure that each family sees the children for the same amount of time, we counter this by staying at both families with the children swapping houses on each night.  Saturday morning was spent with Grandad and Saturday afternoon with Grandma and Granfer and then all together on Sunday morning, its a logistical challenge with lots of driving between the houses, but hopefully a solution which pleases all.

On this visit we were able to visit the interactive Science museum in the centre of Bristol @Bristol.  Its somewhere I’ve wanted to visit for a long time and the children now seem to be at an age when they can make the most of the facilities the museum offers.  The children are at a great age and I am really looking forward to doing more activities with them, each age just makes the children more entertaining, interesting and fantastic company.

The museum was brilliant, everything was interactive and I learnt so much.  The museum has different themes, the body, the solar system, an exhibition on food, simple physics as well as demonstrations, little shows etc.. I had so many favourite activities, freeze your shadow was amazing, looking at my veins pumping blood fascinating, checking my vital statistics and learning that my resting heart beat is good was reassuring and a go at making a short animation which was emailed back to me made me feel quite creative.  My parents and the children loved the museum too and it was lovely to see them explaining all to the children like they used to with me.  I think they too have been patiently waiting to visit the museum to explore and learn.  It is the type of museum you just don’t want to leave and when you do, you are already planning the next trip.

Letterbox

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This evening, I have finished the task which occupies my waking thoughts in the preceding weeks.   It is a simple task, a letter and some photos of the children, something so easy.  I am so proud of my children and I could easily write reams on their personalities, characters, successes, little anecdotes etc.. and fill album with photographs, yet this letter is to their birth family and it is so difficult to strike the right balance.  For security, we have to be careful not to identify ourselves, so no mention of the beach babes they are as this may give a clue to our seaside town, photos must be vetted carefully for clues, no uniforms, local landmarks etc..  I am also aware of the circumstances of the family and am careful not to boast of the treats and holidays the children enjoy.  To me the most important purpose of the letter is to let the family know that the children are happy, healthy and most importantly loved unconditionally.  In one of the most emotional meetings of my life, I met the children’s birth mother, we shared a hug and I promised her that I would always love, care and be there for the children, we were both in tears so it was quite difficult to get those words out.  I see the annual letterbox contact as one of the ways I can show her I am keeping my promise, its so difficult to write but so important too.

As well as for the birth family, the annual contact is for my children too.  In the years to come when the children are 18, I want to show them that I always kept my promise to their birth family to write an annual contact letter.  I have never had a response from the birth family but I am ok with this, I can only imagine how joyful and distressing the letters must be.  The joy of knowing the children are happy and healthy but the distress of not knowing where they are, the hurt of the adoption etc..  I don’t feel hate or anger towards the birth family, just sadness at their circumstances and respect for their decision to have the children adopted and given a fresh start in a happy, loving family.

Happy Families

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This evening when a very tired Little Man had disappeared up to bed, Mr S, Little Miss and I finished the evening playing a game of Happy Families.  It is a beautiful version of the game and Little Miss is now at the age when she is able to play it independently.  The consequence of which is that we are all very competitive!  Normally with Little Man it is a more supportive and encouraging atmosphere but the three of us were definitely in it to win it tonight.  I’m delighted to report I was the winner, with Little Miss second and Mr S third.  A fun, little triumph, Little Miss is a good loser and we have always tried to stress that’s its the taking part and enjoying an activity which is most important, a lesson which will help our children enjoy life and not be afraid to participate and have a go.

A Snowy Mess

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As soon as I uttered the words to my husband, as we enjoyed a cup of tea and a lie in in bed, I knew that our luck might be out.  The delighted giggles and whispered words from the playroom had prompted me to comment on how lovely it was that the children were now old enough to play together nicely and enjoy little adventures.  As we discovered they were certainly having an adventure and it was only when we heard them go into the kitchen to collect a dustpan and brush that we started to investigate.  Mr S got to the playroom first and called me with a bit of panic in his voice, you’re not going to believe this.  As I walked into the room all I could see was a snowy mess, hundreds of the small poly balls from the bean bag had been spilt everywhere.  Whilst Mr S was a little stressed I did find the situation quite funny.  I’ve cleaned up split bean bags before at work so wasn’t over whelmed about the tidying up.  We haven’t quite discovered why the bean bag was opened, it was done carefully so no lasting damage to the beanbag, I think they just wanted some cargo for the carriages of the train set they were playing with at the time and then discovered it was fun to play with the small, light balls, a real sensory experience!  The tidy up did delay my morning run, we all mucked in together but at least the play room is spotless and I think a lesson has been learnt that an open bean bag can cause an awful lot of mess.     

Ice Creams

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Wednesday was the children’s first day back at school and I try to make these days special and memorable, well whilst the little ones are small enough to humour me!  The day starts with the obligatory back to school photos in the morning, when we are all are clean and tidy, no uniforms on before breakfast today.  These photos are diligently emailed through to the grandparents so whilst they don’t live near us they can share in the excitement of the day too.  For Little Miss this is the third year of school and the change in her is significant in the images we have.  After the poses and pleas for genuine smiles, our other tradition is much more appealing, after school we head to the ice cream parlour for a well deserved ice cream treat.   On the walk down to town it feels gorgeous to hold their little hands after a day apart.  This year it was exceptionally hot and sunny so the beach was busy and the little ones had an audience to play cute to as they licked their ice creams and chatted about their day.  Given the school holidays are over it is a more mature tourist in town now, but they were enchanted by the children still in uniforms and carrying their little book bags and many came over to say hello or smiled at us.  Its always a tiring day as we get back to the routine of school so baths and early nights all round but a happy day and I’ve got gorgeous photos too!